“No, man, it’s not L.A. …”
Famous last words.
I was car-jacked by proxy last week. Now, most of you probably know I can’t drive, and in fact, cannot be trusted on anything faster than a bicycle, so you will have sussed that I have a driver. Cantona, so-called for his passion for United, was driving after dark (at 7:45pm) on his way to the orphanage run by the Sisters of Mother Theresa, from where I’d asked him to take one of the Sisters on an errand she needed to run, while I stayed at home working. This is a journey he makes very often as night, as sometimes when we finish late, he takes the car back to the orphanage and parks there. But this time, as he was on one particularly quiet stretch, he noticed some people lying on the road. Naturally, he hit the brakes to avoid running over them, at which point a further 3 people came and barricaded the car in using large stones. They forced their way into the car and attacked him, leaving him with some nasty bruises and a deep scar across his neck. He’s lucky; these carjackers don’t always leave witnesses.
Having been relieved of his shoes, phone and, bizarrely, tie, he ran the distance to my house, from where we called the police and an ambulance. Even the policeman realised that Cantona had nothing to do with it, though he still gave him a pretty vigorous interrogation. I’d call the cop Columbo if I thought his image of incompetence had been a clever disguise, but no such luck – just more incompetence underneath; and under that, probably a burning core of stupidity.
In any case, Cantona’s recovering, though still very shaken, which is the important thing. The car won’t be recovered, and the insurance company have kindly told me to go stuff myself, as my policy didn’t cover carjackings. The upshot is I’m looking for a new car, and accelerating my own driving lessons at the same time.
The whole thing is, as my colleague described it, ‘a total fucker’.
(btw – those of you who know my family – please don’t mention this whole episode. They’d worry themselves to death, even though this is a very rare occurrence here, and we can avoid that road in the future. They think the car was stolen from a carpark, so lets keep it that way, eh?)
* * *
Fortunately, work continues to make up for such bad luck. I’ve spent the week preparing for the arrival of the latest IMF Mission to Malawi. Honestly, you’d think it was the Second Coming the way we’re preparing. I don’t understand what they’re going to do with these reams of statistics they’ve demanded. The whole Ministry seems to have ground to a halt as we’re scrabbling to put together all of these figures.
In any case, I’ll be glad to see the back of them. While they do keep us on our macroeconomic toes, their stringency is a bit obscene, and they could really do with a broader focus than they currently have.
Besides, in the next couple of weeks I’ve got to try and motivate our Budget Director to get our donor funded projects into the coming budget. If they’re excluded they won’t be able to access Government funding, which most need in addition to the donor's money, and the donors will be very reluctant to spend so long providing us with information in the future if we don’t actually do anything with it. It’s going to be a battle, but I’m looking forward to it more than I’m looking forward to haggling over cars…
* * *
And, finally, did you see Ballack’s goal against Milan?! What a shot. We should sign the guy up right now – he’s free!
I was car-jacked by proxy last week. Now, most of you probably know I can’t drive, and in fact, cannot be trusted on anything faster than a bicycle, so you will have sussed that I have a driver. Cantona, so-called for his passion for United, was driving after dark (at 7:45pm) on his way to the orphanage run by the Sisters of Mother Theresa, from where I’d asked him to take one of the Sisters on an errand she needed to run, while I stayed at home working. This is a journey he makes very often as night, as sometimes when we finish late, he takes the car back to the orphanage and parks there. But this time, as he was on one particularly quiet stretch, he noticed some people lying on the road. Naturally, he hit the brakes to avoid running over them, at which point a further 3 people came and barricaded the car in using large stones. They forced their way into the car and attacked him, leaving him with some nasty bruises and a deep scar across his neck. He’s lucky; these carjackers don’t always leave witnesses.
Having been relieved of his shoes, phone and, bizarrely, tie, he ran the distance to my house, from where we called the police and an ambulance. Even the policeman realised that Cantona had nothing to do with it, though he still gave him a pretty vigorous interrogation. I’d call the cop Columbo if I thought his image of incompetence had been a clever disguise, but no such luck – just more incompetence underneath; and under that, probably a burning core of stupidity.
In any case, Cantona’s recovering, though still very shaken, which is the important thing. The car won’t be recovered, and the insurance company have kindly told me to go stuff myself, as my policy didn’t cover carjackings. The upshot is I’m looking for a new car, and accelerating my own driving lessons at the same time.
The whole thing is, as my colleague described it, ‘a total fucker’.
(btw – those of you who know my family – please don’t mention this whole episode. They’d worry themselves to death, even though this is a very rare occurrence here, and we can avoid that road in the future. They think the car was stolen from a carpark, so lets keep it that way, eh?)
* * *
Fortunately, work continues to make up for such bad luck. I’ve spent the week preparing for the arrival of the latest IMF Mission to Malawi. Honestly, you’d think it was the Second Coming the way we’re preparing. I don’t understand what they’re going to do with these reams of statistics they’ve demanded. The whole Ministry seems to have ground to a halt as we’re scrabbling to put together all of these figures.
In any case, I’ll be glad to see the back of them. While they do keep us on our macroeconomic toes, their stringency is a bit obscene, and they could really do with a broader focus than they currently have.
Besides, in the next couple of weeks I’ve got to try and motivate our Budget Director to get our donor funded projects into the coming budget. If they’re excluded they won’t be able to access Government funding, which most need in addition to the donor's money, and the donors will be very reluctant to spend so long providing us with information in the future if we don’t actually do anything with it. It’s going to be a battle, but I’m looking forward to it more than I’m looking forward to haggling over cars…
* * *
And, finally, did you see Ballack’s goal against Milan?! What a shot. We should sign the guy up right now – he’s free!
posted by the Maradona of Malawi at 9:03 PM
